The key to a happy and healthy long-term relationship is intimacy. Through strong emotional and physical connections, you can build sexual intimacy in your relationship. Sexual intimacy may lessen over time and can be detrimental to romantic relationships. You may feel unappreciated, unloved, and resentful due to a lack of intimacy. If you are wondering how to enhance and deepen sexual intimacy with your partner, we have composed five ways for you to do so.

1. Take your partner on romantic dates

When we date our partners for a while, we often stop doing the things we did in the beginning, like going on romantic dates. We might feel that there is no need for them anymore because of time constraints and other responsibilities involving our careers, children, and household chores. But going on dates outside the house and spending quality time with each other (solo) can be a powerful way to deepen sexual intimacy with your partner. By making time for each other and spending time in new environments, you can focus on just the two of you, forget about any distractions in your home or life, and have fun just like you used to months or years ago. If you want to build a deeper connection with your partner and enhance sexual intimacy, continue to date and romance them as much as possible.

2. Learn and speak each other’s love languages

In 1992, Gary Chapman published his self-help book and New York Times bestseller for spouses entitled "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate." According to Chapman, there are five primary ways for romantic partners to express their love to each other. The five love languages, in order, are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each person may find one or more of the love languages to be theirs, which can result in our partners having a different language than ours. Understanding what you and your partner's love language(s) are is essential to minimize disappointments and frustrations in your good intentions when trying to romanticize your partner. Do not be shy to ask your partner what their love languages are so that you can start to express your deep love to them in the best ways they can appreciate and comprehend.

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3. Explore self-pleasure

Self-pleasure is a great way to learn about your body and to know what turns you on the most. You can do it solo, but we recommend exploring self-pleasure with your partner to learn about what you and your partner like sexually. You can also masturbate which can help make you feel sexy and empowered while alleviating your mental health. But, you do not need to focus solely on masturbation and reaching an orgasm; you can use this aspect to learn about each other's bodies and explore different methods for foreplay, like reading or listening to erotica. Have fun with the self-exploration in a way that works for you and your partner to strengthen your sexual intimacy.

4. Try Something New

Having a routine is not bad; it can make us feel safe, secure, and comfortable with our partners. But developing new habits and changing some of your old behaviors with your partner can bring excitement and reignite the missing spark. Trying new things together can make your relationship exciting and stimulating again if you start to get bored with your older routines. So do not be shy to step out of your comfort zone and explore new habits in the bedroom that you both have not done before. For example, cuddling after sex to enjoy the afterglow instead of showering right after. You can get involved in new activities as partners that deepen sexual intimacy. New habits and shared experiences can generate excitement and stimulation in you and your partner, expanding upon the affection or sexual intimacy you both need by bringing you closer to each other.


If you have tried all of these ways and your sexual intimacy has not deepened, speak to a sex therapist who can take into consideration the specifics of your relationship and make specific recommendations that can be best fitted for your relationship. Do not be discouraged if these options do not work for you and your partner. There are many more options out there that we did not cover here. Deepening sexual intimacy with your partner might take longer than expected, so continue to explore new ways to boost sexual intimacy with your romantic partner.

Deepen Your Intimacy with your Partner with Kushae

February 06, 2023

This article is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.